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It’s all about Jesus

I can’t even begin to explain how much I have learned on this trip. I think that the most important thing is that everything we do should be about bringing glory to God. For the past couple of weeks here, I have been majorly struggling in my faith. When I go to Kenya I always feel Gods presence so thickly. God has had no problem revealing Himself to me whenever and wherever I ask. On this trip, I have been reading about faith a good bit in the Bible. People were healed by Jesus and his disciples according to their faith and nothing else. I have been praying that God would give me faith so that I could do great works but I have had a really difficult time experiencing his presence and feeling purposeful. I have just felt like I am useless here because nothing is impacting me or affecting my feelings. I did not want to go to another school and teach, I did not want to pray for anyone else and not watch anything happen, and I definitely did not want to feel so dull and distant. I wanted to perform miracles and feel his presence every second of every day. I finally realized that this is so not about me or how I feel. This trip is about bringing God glory and that is all.

I have been praying for faith to perform miracles and see miracles and although there is nothing wrong with that, that is not why I am here. Gods way of teaching me faith was a little different then what I expected or wanted. He taught me that faith is actually following Him even when He feels least present in my life. When I really think back on the time I have known Jesus, I have never really had to have much faith. He just proved himself to me. Now that I have really understood the concept of giving God all the glory even when I do not feel His presence, He has showed me things I have wanted to see on this trip. It was like He was holding back to teach me something, and although it was absolutely miserable, I couldn’t be more thankful for His timing.

A couple days ago we went to a hospital and prayed over the sick. I passionately prayed but nothing happened at the time. I was totally drained when I left and I felt so unaccomplished. Today when I hit the realization that miracles are about bringing God glory and that is all, a lady who was at the hospital told us that three people we had prayed for with some serious diseases walked out completely healed the day after we came and prayed. God just wanted us to have faith that these miracles would actually happen even if we didn’t see them that second. He is so good.

Also a few days ago we were door to door evangelizing and we each went off on our own going to peoples homes. I went to a Muslim woman’s house and prayed over her. I asked that the Holy Spirit would completely speak through me and He definitely did. Today I saw her at church and I learned that she had become a believer. I asked her if she was worried about her family and she said no. I asked her if she would ever change her mind and she said she could never. This is ALL God. He has really revealed to me any wrong intentions I have and I realize now that there is only one intention I should have in everything and that is to bring glory to God and to Him only. It is not about me or my team falling in love or making miracles. It is not even about the people of Uganda being fed or healed. It is about Jesus and bringing him glory and that is all. HE is the great healer and HE is the great planner and HE is the great teacher! Glory be to Him and Him only!

 

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