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A Work in Progress

A little background for those that don’t know me… I was born and raised in the church. Growing up, I accepted Jesus into my heart at a young age and have always been involved in the church since. Two years ago, I went on a missions trip to Mexico with my church, and this is where God met me and told me His plan for my life, missions. So I went to Mexico again, and God affirmed the calling and I began to see my future through his eyes. So coming on this trip I was thinking that it was going to simply be another trip consisting of serving others and being a missionary. Basically, I thought I was in a good place with the Lord and was prepared to pour into other people’s lives. 

 

Little did I know that while I was pouring into others, God was going to break me down in places I didn’t even know I struggled with. He was going to rebuild me, heal me, fix me, and show me his love in a whole new way. At training camp, we wrote down timelines of our testimonies and shared them with our teams. This is the first place that God showed me my struggles. After a week of being in country, we were having team time and our leaders asked us to be prepared to share our testimonies at church services. Right then a lie that I have believed for so long came to the surface: My testimony is powerless. I never really shared my testimony because there was always someone around me that had a more drastic story. One thing my leader Julia said was ‘Most testimonies show people how they have been to hell and back, yours shows how you’ve been to heaven and back’. It is true. I have had my struggles, but nothing too major. God has kept me on a path of love and safety, within my family, church, and relationship with him. So in my healing God showed me what my testimony is, a testimony of faithfulness. After time with the Lord, I’ve come to realize that my testimony is powerful, and I will never doubt that.  

 

Through this healing with my testimony, God has worked on me by bringing shame to light. Shame of a powerless testimony, shame of not having experiences like others have, shame of having a good life, and shame of allowing this shame. Prior to this trip, I never even thought of these things. They were so deeply embedded in my Spirit that I thought that it was truth. Slowly, God has shown me that they are not truth. Also, he revealed that shame is a scheme of the devil. There is absolutely no reason for me to have shame. I was able to dive into this issue with the Lord and open my heart to let him remove all of the shame I held. God has worked in me so much that I can say now that I am proud of the life He has given me. I am not ashamed. 

 

God has continued to work on me in different ways, but in each way He has built me up. One verse He gave me that has resonated and encouraged me so deeply is Ephesians 4:1 “Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.”  God is so faithful, and I have grown so much closer to Him in this season.  I have put my plans and my calling into his hands in such a way that I am willing to live a life worthy of the calling I have received. Through showing me that He is faithful, I believe that it is possible for me to live up to the calling, because he is faithful to see me through. This is so exciting to me as I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for me. 

 

Erin Kennedy

 

Walking to ministry.

Walking to ministry.

 

 

Making friends at the nursing home.

 

 

Teaching our friend English.