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team swazi::: mackenzi sandberg

“Let my heart break for what breaks your’s.” A prayer holding so much brokenness but unimaginably more beauty. To say it simply, my heart broke this week. It was the moment when I stood with my hands joined around two orphan boys as a part of my team prayed they would never feel fatherless because they have a father in heaven who loves them more than an earthly dad ever could; It was the moment I had to watch children not even old enough to begin primary school find empty beer cans and play pretend that they were mean and drunk because when they go home that’s the example that is set and engraved in their young minds; It was the moment I sat on the bus, my hands full of ripped notebook paper letters addressed “Mbali,” as my team pulled away from the carepoint saying our last goodbye to the children I so openly poured my heart onto. But it takes the deepest pain to see the mere height of God’s glory. I left the orphan boys knowing God placed them in a community supporting their needs, I look back on the memory of the young children innocently expressing the hurt in their lives knowing my team gave them the example of who Jesus is and what love he is pouring over them, and I rode away from the kids at our care point for the last time with my heart in their hands and the knowledge that growing up they would always have a place to provide their needs. God is holding these children in his hands even when I have to fly half a world away from them in a couple short days. Tuesday morning I pulled out the book Guess How Much I Love You from they54 care points bookshelf. With the book in my hand, I sat down on a few concrete steps in an almost failed attempt to read to an audience of restless, bad listeners. Even though I barely got through the pages without a child ripping one out, nostalgia ran over me as I was reminded of the story of Littlenut Brown and Bignut Brown proving their love for one another. And just as Bignut Brown was always able to out size Littlenut Brown’s love, God always meets our love to him with an even bigger and ever greater love than we could ever give ourselves. So as I am forced to leave this sweet place with even sweeter children, I know that I am leaving them with a God who can love them in more ways then I could ever try.