So coming on this mission trip I was definitely expecting a spiritual high. Yes, I know that is far from the purpose of going to another country to serve. However in the back of my mind, I was definitely expecting to be filled with the Spirit, and I found comfort in looking forward to that. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I was unconsciously expecting to draw that strength and comfort from my team and others around me. When I arrived at training camp, it wasn’t what I expected. I wasn’t “feeling the Lord” nor was I able to draw strength from the people around me. I started to have a slight freakout. I felt like maybe I chose the wrong team or maybe I wasn’t where God really wanted me at the time. After being in the DR for a few days, there had been little glimpses of the Spirit that I would see. Or little words of life that other people spoke into me. I tried to hard to hold onto those things. I wasn’t drawing strength and comfort from my teammates, so I thought if I didn’t receive it from the people around me, my time here would be worthless because I would just be emotionally drained. I was selfish enough to have the mentality of “I’m always pouring into other people. Why can’t I have people pouring into me?” When I talked to my leader, Beth, about how I felt she talked about how my team was just as much my mission field as the locals were. I started to seek out my purpose for being here. I wanted a big “YES” moment where the Spirit revealed it to me. But I was starting to realize that I didn’t need one. Even if all I was doing was planting little seeds in kids’ hearts, I can find purpose in all the little things I do. After all, life is ministry, ministry is life. The day after coming to this conclusion, the ladies from Beauty for Ashes had a basket of encouragement notes that the Lord had laid on their hearts. Everyone from my team drew a random note. But goodness it was no accident that we got those exact notes. Mine said “The Lord desires to be your source of strength in all seasons of life… may you find peace in His purpose for you.” God used this note to completely move my heart that morning. He was good enough to show me that I don’t have to he drawing my strength from my team, or others. And he showed me that even when it’s hard, his purpose for me here has not died. He is so good!
-Kaydee Kinnett
