I’ve been on a few mission trips before, but never anything as long or as far away as this one. We are halfway through our stay here in Swaziland and the thought of only being here for two more weeks is slowly breaking my heart.
I’ve started to fall for this beautiful country and everything that comes along with it. It is crazy how different Swazi is from back home, but all the differences make my heart swell with joy. The differences aren’t just the basic things like the language, food, or landscape. It’s everything. It’s the strangers that yell greetings while we are driving down the street. It’s the kids that run alongside our van, waving and shouting. There is just a warmth evident in everyone’s eyes here that makes me feel welcome. Their smiles reflect their hearts and the kids joy is obvious just by glancing at them. The number of hugs exchanged, the countless kisses given and received, the many tears wiped away and noses blown, and just the way love has been poured out on all of us, leaves me feeling so overwhelmed. Then, to compare all the love I’ve experienced in these two weeks to the endless love the Father shows us every single day… wow.
For me, I’ve always struggled with feeling loved and with being able to love myself. I let my insecurities rule me. It has become easy for me to act confident, but inside I’m a mess. I always feel like I’m not pretty enough, smart enough, kind enough. Thus never feeling worthy enough to be loved. But, what I’ve realized in the past week is that these kids don’t care about the things that leave me feeling so insecure. All they care about is being loved and loving you.
It’s the same way with our good good Father. I often deny His love because I feel like I am unworthy of being loved by Him, but I am His prized possession. I am His perfect creation. There is nothing that I could do to make Him stop loving me… His love is undeniable. It’s so simple yet so sweet.
