No Longer Running

“Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.”

-Luke 7:47

Last night I experienced true forgiveness. I was filled with the Lord in a new way, unlike some spiritual events. Those fade and I lose that “God high.” No one can take this away though. Meg spent time praying over our team and she told the Holy Spirit to take complete control over her body, mouth, and actions. She laid hands on me and prayed that the Holy Spirit make my heart its home. She prayed that I would be filled with him and experience him and hear from him.

Earlier this week, on June 28, as a team, we walked around Ponce praying for people, the church, businesses, and revival as a whole for the city, and I got very angry. I felt like I couldn’t hear from the Holy Spirit. The enemy kept me and him far apart. I felt unworthy, lost, broken, a mistake, isolated. He spoke to me though on June 29. I heard him loud and clear.

I have spent all my energy running fast after him. Sometimes I would get winded or I would stumble from a hole in the ground, but I continued to run for him. Last night, he said, “Stop running. I’m HERE.” I no longer have to chase after it, search, or be good enough for his love. I am his child. I’m not a sinner, but I sin. He does not see me as a dirty, unworthy sinner. He never has. He calls me precious, enough, clean, new, redeemed, and his child. I will cling to him. I am done running; he calls me to stop running. He is here and now will carry me the rest of the way until I can rule with him in heaven forever. So shout some praise. My feet are tired, I have some wounds (some healed and others open) but I no longer have to run. 

I am forgiven.

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