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Learning How to Die to Myself

  • In San Jose, we went into the slums of the city to pick up kids to bring then to our VBS with MetroMinistries. When I saw the conditions in which they lived and noticed that they lived with nothing, it broke my heart. I immediately recognized that my life at home was really blessed. The faces of the kids lit up—like they won the lottery—when we played with them! They dance and jump with joy. We learned that many of the girls were possibly abused at home, and many of the boys had to leave their own dreams to take care of their families.
  • Now, however, we are no longer in the city of San Jose. We are in the jungles of Puerto Viejo.  We are living in a house with no air conditioning, bugs are EVERYWHERE, and a bat flies in and out of our room at night (we named him Jeffery), and 11 of us girls are sharing one bathroom.
  • On Friday night, we were serving at a youth camp, doing things like washing dishes, cooking, sweeping, and hanging out with the kids. It started to rain during the day and continued to get harder and harder the longer the day went, which meant that we weren’t getting to go back to where we were staying when we were supposed to. One of my team-mates and I napped on the floor because we were so tired! We decided to head to our bus, but it was still pretty heavy rain. We had to walk for about 15 minutes in the dark, pouring rain to get to it. The team was soaked from head-to-toe by the time we got home—where there was no power or water for showers. We all changed into dry clothes and went to bed. Around 11pm, one of my leaders began to wake everyone up and get them out of bed. We were told that we needed to begin interceding prayer because the rain still was falling hard and the river near our place was beginning to overflow and flood the houses around us. After praying for about 30 minutes, the rain let up and the river went back down!
  • The next day I was showering and there was a lizard on the wall, and two big spiders at the top of the shower. I have to kill bugs in my bed every day and cockroaches are everywhere.

During each of these scenarios, I had to keep reminded myself of what Jesus would do in this situation. He was the King of Kings and he humbled himself to wash the dirty feet of his friends. I had to tell myself, “you are dying to yourself to glorify the King, so that God can use you in ways you didn’t think were possible.”

We had worship on our deck last night and as I was worshiping, I was looking at God’s creation and if the God of the universe created what I am seeing then he loves me and wants a relationship with me. I feel like before I came to Costa Rica, I put God in a box and made him so small. I realize now that God uses the littlest things to show his love and help us. I have found my purpose and that is to follow him and he will direct my path to become a kids pastor.

 

With all my heart,

 

Love Lizzy Kirby.

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