As I was preparing to leave in the weeks leading up to Africa I felt discouraged. I didn’t feel the excitement I wanted to feel or felt I should I have. And I had been excited to go for several months. So I wanted to figure out what had changed. Was it me? Was it nerves about leaving the country? Was I scared to be in contact with people who had AIDS? I knew I had been discouraged with my job search and that was putting a damper on things, but it should not have had the effect it did. I actually felt the trip was coming at a good time. Take a week break and come back renewed and ready to tackle it once again. I didn’t really have any clear cut answers to any of my questions so I left for Africa trying to look forward to the work we were about to do.
The first 24 hours were pretty rough. Two of us lost our luggage – I being one of them. Not a huge deal, more of an annoyance really. The airline felt they could get it there in a couple of days. I really just felt sorry for my teammates. They were going to have to deal with me in possibly smelly clothes till the rest of my things showed up. But the next morning grabbing my towel I had a freak accident and ended up cutting my hand pretty deeply. It was clear I was going to need stitches. Questions swirled. How was I going to do ministry? How come I was not more careful? I’m holding the whole team up. Should I just go home? It was pretty clear at this point that everything the past couple weeks had been the result of the enemy. Spiritual warfare if you may. He had been casting doubts on this trip long before I set foot on the plane by using my situation at home. And it didn’t stop. He wanted me to think I had failed and go home. He didn’t want me to do God’s work.
But I’ve learned that even in situations that are taxing, God is in control. I was blessed to have teammates who were willing to share their things until my suitcase showed up. I do believe that one of them packed their entire wardrobe which was a good thing for me. I had clean clothes. Why did we have a nurse on the trip and why was she in my room that first night? She bandaged me up and took care of the cut until we were able to get to a clinic to have it taken care of. Why did I miss cutting tendons – only tissue? And why did it not hurt? I knew then that God was in control even through the attack.
When I held that first baby and had tears in my eyes I knew I had been obedient and was fulfilling God’s work. I knew I had won. Yes it came with challenges and obstacles, but it was worth all of it and ultimately God won.
